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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
unconditional love
An article I found on net :
Unconditional Love is the Answer
There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all those times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's called "falling" in love.
I would give my all, loving deeply and wholeheartedly. It would be a truly emotional, extremely euphoric experience. I would dream about the object of my affection all day and all night, imagining good times together, thinking of what I can do or give him to show how much I cared. I would feel light as a feather, energized and excited, literally blooming with the joy I felt inside. Then somehow something would go wrong and my whole world would crash. Disappointment. Resentment. Anger. Pain.
Why? Can we not love without pain? Is disappointment really a price to pay for all the happiness we feel when we're in love? Should we blindly accept that because we love we get hurt?
It was only after many years of soul-searching and internalizing inspirational writings that I discovered that I can love without getting hurt. I finally understood that unconditional love was the answer.
Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the fire that burns inside, the essence of being. Love is the source of all our comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift that defines our purpose in life. If we keep in mind that we can indeed preserve its true meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy the rest of our lives.
Accept that people express love in different ways:
How do YOU express your love? You say "I love you" three times a day, you kiss and embrace him every chance you get, you never forget your anniversaries, and you always prepare his favorite dishes. How does HE express his love? He rarely says "I love you", he seldom kisses you, he forgets your birthday, and he doesn't even try to cook. But he works overtime, walks the dog, helps you with the laundry, takes you to the movies, and calls you "Honey". He probably loves you as much as you love him, he just shows it differently. If you can accept that difference then you can have a healthier perspective of your relationship.
Derive happiness from giving love:
When you love, do it because you want to. There is indescribable joy in loving. Just give it. And cherish the satisfaction in having given someone something of yourself. It's like giving a gift. Whether it is appreciated or not, find joy in simply giving.
Love without expecting anything in return:
Now this is where pain comes in: when you demand something in return for the love you give. You are actually setting yourself up for disappointment because love cannot always be reciprocal. Love between two people can never be of the same intensity at the same time and place. No matter how much your partner loves you, she will never be able to fill all your needs all the time. And you are worst off if you believe you should love only when you are sure to receive equal love in return. Sad to say, you will be waiting in misery forever.
Love now.
The past is gone and the future is just a dream. All of yesterday's aches and pains, even the joys and laughter, are mere memories. Let them go. And your fantasies and worries? They may never come. So why dwell on them? Live now. Give love now. Do it now and enjoy the moment. That is the secret of inner contentment.
Throw away those destructive habits:
When you insist upon yourself that you always have to be in control, that you always have to be right, that others must always please you, you mold unreasonable expectations of yourself and the ones you love. Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, and evolving. Give room for change and interaction. Allow for new behavior and learning experiences. When we welcome these into our lives, we open ourselves up to love and affection rather than anger and frustration.
Yes, you will say that unconditional love is easier said than done. Especially when we have always believed that love is give and take. Try believing that love is simply giving. They say “Give until it hurts”. Let’s say “Love until it hurts no more”.
"Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the fire that burns inside, the essence of being"
Unconditional Love is the Answer
There was a time in my life I became afraid to love. Because all those times I fell in love, I got hurt. I thought maybe that's why it's called "falling" in love.
I would give my all, loving deeply and wholeheartedly. It would be a truly emotional, extremely euphoric experience. I would dream about the object of my affection all day and all night, imagining good times together, thinking of what I can do or give him to show how much I cared. I would feel light as a feather, energized and excited, literally blooming with the joy I felt inside. Then somehow something would go wrong and my whole world would crash. Disappointment. Resentment. Anger. Pain.
Why? Can we not love without pain? Is disappointment really a price to pay for all the happiness we feel when we're in love? Should we blindly accept that because we love we get hurt?
It was only after many years of soul-searching and internalizing inspirational writings that I discovered that I can love without getting hurt. I finally understood that unconditional love was the answer.
Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the fire that burns inside, the essence of being. Love is the source of all our comfort and contentment. It is a precious gift that defines our purpose in life. If we keep in mind that we can indeed preserve its true meaning, we can love to the fullest and be happy the rest of our lives.
Accept that people express love in different ways:
How do YOU express your love? You say "I love you" three times a day, you kiss and embrace him every chance you get, you never forget your anniversaries, and you always prepare his favorite dishes. How does HE express his love? He rarely says "I love you", he seldom kisses you, he forgets your birthday, and he doesn't even try to cook. But he works overtime, walks the dog, helps you with the laundry, takes you to the movies, and calls you "Honey". He probably loves you as much as you love him, he just shows it differently. If you can accept that difference then you can have a healthier perspective of your relationship.
Derive happiness from giving love:
When you love, do it because you want to. There is indescribable joy in loving. Just give it. And cherish the satisfaction in having given someone something of yourself. It's like giving a gift. Whether it is appreciated or not, find joy in simply giving.
Love without expecting anything in return:
Now this is where pain comes in: when you demand something in return for the love you give. You are actually setting yourself up for disappointment because love cannot always be reciprocal. Love between two people can never be of the same intensity at the same time and place. No matter how much your partner loves you, she will never be able to fill all your needs all the time. And you are worst off if you believe you should love only when you are sure to receive equal love in return. Sad to say, you will be waiting in misery forever.
Love now.
The past is gone and the future is just a dream. All of yesterday's aches and pains, even the joys and laughter, are mere memories. Let them go. And your fantasies and worries? They may never come. So why dwell on them? Live now. Give love now. Do it now and enjoy the moment. That is the secret of inner contentment.
Throw away those destructive habits:
When you insist upon yourself that you always have to be in control, that you always have to be right, that others must always please you, you mold unreasonable expectations of yourself and the ones you love. Loving relationships are flexible, dynamic, and evolving. Give room for change and interaction. Allow for new behavior and learning experiences. When we welcome these into our lives, we open ourselves up to love and affection rather than anger and frustration.
Yes, you will say that unconditional love is easier said than done. Especially when we have always believed that love is give and take. Try believing that love is simply giving. They say “Give until it hurts”. Let’s say “Love until it hurts no more”.
"Love is one of the most powerful forces in the universe. It is the fire that burns inside, the essence of being"
Friday, March 18, 2005
Didnt feel like keeping this blog sans any post for long....
Now that its time to say goodbye to college, I am not feeling good...I kind of have started remembering all those days spent .My relationship with my college...B.J.B college has been 5 years long now. Every corner, every room, every corridor has some memories attached to it....
Right after my 10th got into my college, took up science. Initialy I had wanted to do medical and thus opted for biology as my fourth optional. I remember our first practical class and there was this tray with a dead cut frog in it.. Ma'am wanted us to bring it to her. And yes almost no one was interested to do the same...I dont know why I went and got it, maybe because I was standing very close to my teacher and her order kind of made me forget that it had one dead frog in it. I didnt find it nasty even, had no allergy to it. Then after a month or two I started wondering if I actualy wanted to go for medical. I didnt feel like becoming a doctor. And the first thing I wanted to do was change my fourth optional. I didnt know at that moment what I wanted to do..all I knew was I didnt feel like going for medical. I was fortunate, we had a notice put up that anyone who wants to change his or her fourth optional may apply for the same. I immedietely applied and took electronics as my fourth optional. Circuits, chips , modulation etc, I liked the subject. Then came a time when everybody knew what he or she had to do after 12th. Accordingly they joined the coaching centres. I didnt even know what I wanted to do then. I just knew even engineering wasnt for me. I somehow didnt feel like, maybe because most of my cousins happen to be engineers..I wanted to do something different. I joined no coaching centre. All I did was attended few classes our teachers were taking for the 12th final exams. I had decided I will go for Arts after 12th or to be even more clear english hons. Once I was just going through some books in our reading room in college when a girl came and sat just besides me. She had a very interesting looking book in her hands. It was a psychology book, Baron's. I went through some pages, I liked it.
12th over. Most of my friends joined some or other engineering college and we all got separated. Some went to Bangalore, some to Pune.........
I decided to join my college again, B.J.B College. We were all called for choosing our honours subjectc. I had opted for english honours. My mom had been with me. There our sir, Psychology Department saw me and said,"Pooza you will read Arts here? Which hons? When I said english he asked me to join Psychology hons. Deep within, somewhere I found it an interesting option .He talked to my parents. He convinced them I should go for psychology honors. I decided to take up psychology only. I would say these three years I have learnt a lot. Learnt a lot about myself, learnt a lot about people, relationships, feelings, emotions etc. And I have got a lot. Right from Chancellor Cup to n number of prizes in many inter college debates, extempore, essays, creative writing....Organised so many things in college. The best part is the love I recieved from all my teachers. Every department...even fromteachers of Science and Commerce stream. These 5 years I can never ever forget. The love I have recieved from all my batchmates, juniors and seniors. I had a passion for reading so I almost never freaked out with friends when we had free classes. My home hardly a km away from my college, i would either come back home..or if in college, would be sitting somewhere going through some novel, some book .....
And yeah I also learnt driving car 2 years back and drove my car to college .....
Over all lovely memories..I will miss my college..am already missing it :(
Now that its time to say goodbye to college, I am not feeling good...I kind of have started remembering all those days spent .My relationship with my college...B.J.B college has been 5 years long now. Every corner, every room, every corridor has some memories attached to it....
Right after my 10th got into my college, took up science. Initialy I had wanted to do medical and thus opted for biology as my fourth optional. I remember our first practical class and there was this tray with a dead cut frog in it.. Ma'am wanted us to bring it to her. And yes almost no one was interested to do the same...I dont know why I went and got it, maybe because I was standing very close to my teacher and her order kind of made me forget that it had one dead frog in it. I didnt find it nasty even, had no allergy to it. Then after a month or two I started wondering if I actualy wanted to go for medical. I didnt feel like becoming a doctor. And the first thing I wanted to do was change my fourth optional. I didnt know at that moment what I wanted to do..all I knew was I didnt feel like going for medical. I was fortunate, we had a notice put up that anyone who wants to change his or her fourth optional may apply for the same. I immedietely applied and took electronics as my fourth optional. Circuits, chips , modulation etc, I liked the subject. Then came a time when everybody knew what he or she had to do after 12th. Accordingly they joined the coaching centres. I didnt even know what I wanted to do then. I just knew even engineering wasnt for me. I somehow didnt feel like, maybe because most of my cousins happen to be engineers..I wanted to do something different. I joined no coaching centre. All I did was attended few classes our teachers were taking for the 12th final exams. I had decided I will go for Arts after 12th or to be even more clear english hons. Once I was just going through some books in our reading room in college when a girl came and sat just besides me. She had a very interesting looking book in her hands. It was a psychology book, Baron's. I went through some pages, I liked it.
12th over. Most of my friends joined some or other engineering college and we all got separated. Some went to Bangalore, some to Pune.........
I decided to join my college again, B.J.B College. We were all called for choosing our honours subjectc. I had opted for english honours. My mom had been with me. There our sir, Psychology Department saw me and said,"Pooza you will read Arts here? Which hons? When I said english he asked me to join Psychology hons. Deep within, somewhere I found it an interesting option .He talked to my parents. He convinced them I should go for psychology honors. I decided to take up psychology only. I would say these three years I have learnt a lot. Learnt a lot about myself, learnt a lot about people, relationships, feelings, emotions etc. And I have got a lot. Right from Chancellor Cup to n number of prizes in many inter college debates, extempore, essays, creative writing....Organised so many things in college. The best part is the love I recieved from all my teachers. Every department...even fromteachers of Science and Commerce stream. These 5 years I can never ever forget. The love I have recieved from all my batchmates, juniors and seniors. I had a passion for reading so I almost never freaked out with friends when we had free classes. My home hardly a km away from my college, i would either come back home..or if in college, would be sitting somewhere going through some novel, some book .....
And yeah I also learnt driving car 2 years back and drove my car to college .....
Over all lovely memories..I will miss my college..am already missing it :(
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Events
Last week was one eventful week I had in a long time. To begin with there was practice for the Annual Function. All the students of my department, that is Psychology department took a keen interest. Each and everyone contributed. I was very impressed with the active involvement and interest shown by Juniors.
On 23rd we were given farewell. Our teachers blessed us for the real life we are going to face now. I remember every word my teachers said. It was so touching. As I always say my teachers in college are angels. They have given so much of affection and love, I can never ever forget. They have given the blind support, the encouragement and have certainly helped me a lot in doing whatever I wanted to.
This sounds like some thanks giving speech, but I realy mean it. I clearly remember the day August 29th when I got admitted to my college.(I had also done my plus two in the same college, But we have separate Blocks in separate compound;having science in 12th strangely but I had almost never visited the Arts Block).
These three years seem like 3 days to me. Those function arrangements with teachers,working hard day in and out to make it a success, those debate competitions(the support from the teachers),the essay and those creative writting competitions are memories I will always cherish.
Our welcome Party by our seniors(and that question I was asked), the love from my seniors(unconditional love)being fed with lots of ice creams and chocolates,Buddhi nani(well in Oriya nani means didi) thanks.The love from my Juniors(Farheen, Sonali, Neha, Priyanka, Soni, Subhangi and those sweet Juniors of mine), the lovely farewell party and the interesting defn of farewell, the sweet,lovely farewell gift,the love I have received from my friends( Deepti, Lipsika, Sonali, Subhashree,Sudha, Ukti, Sophie, Sujata(i love ur miss calls,the late night ones), Sashmita, Shradhanjali, Souritandra, Light, baby, mama, Rashida, Lips,Minu,Sushree,Minali....and all others) and my friends in commerce block Pragyan, Ruchira, Tanu, Sushree, Anu, Lori didi.....
Well I was almost never there in college when we had breaks or free classes, but you all have been so sweet to me and the great time we have spent together at my place, parties, functions, ceremonies, IMS etc I am not going to forget. Will write more soon. Will write about the function in my next post....